a parent on social media

I don’t often write long things any more, Twitter is my main posting medium and it has honed my editing skills down to those few characters but some things can’t be truncated, they need more and this is one of those things.  This is a reflection on being a parent on social media as my children get older and as our online lives interact.

Like many I have used the internet a lot and for a long time, from my (first attempt at) university days, it has over the years  given me a way to make friends and earn money, it has been a place for sharing support, for education and research.   I like to think I have for the most part been quite sensible with it, I’ve always been away that anything online can last a lifetime and be shared in the most unexpected ways, I’ve had my slip ups but I think I have generally been careful in knowing that some parts of life are just not for sharing.

Over my online life I’ve had eventful times, I’ve had two children of my own and three surrogate children, I’ve been diagnosed with a progressive disability, had surgery to slow its impact and had an unexpectedly prolonged stay in hospital following complications.  Throughout all of this I have had huge support via the internet and I hope I too have been of support to others as they too go through life’s ups and downs.  I’ve also learned so much, both formally with various qualifications and informally with the wealth of information and experiences.

I really don’t want to lose this but…

… but it has got more complicated and I know I need to re-balance things.  My oldest child is now a teenager and the younger one is growing up fast too, they are forging their own paths and have their own views and relationships and they don’t need their mum in their faces all the time.   I’ve known in the back of my mind that what has been my space will become their space but now that is becoming real, this movement has been happening for generations in physical communities but I do think it is a little different in virtual communities, roles are less defined and voices are more equal in their power, it’s a new shift and it’s a tricky one to manage – especially if you are an over-thinker as I fear I am.

I’ve always been aware that what I tweet could be read by anyone, I used to have a locked account but once I realised I didn’t trust Twitter or any other social media to keep my posts private forever that seemed senseless, even locked I would only write what I was happy to share so why not share and see what come of it.  What has come of it has been brilliant, what has happened has been that I have met people I am glad to have met but would probably not have otherwise and many of these people are actually geographically local to me, a real community network that has been a huge blessing to my life.   This possibly is the crux of my worry, local people include people with whom my children interact regularly are among people I regard as friends and beyond that my comments can be and are quietly read by friends of my children.

I don’t think I have said anything outrageous and having discussed this with my eldest several times neither does he but it does still make me trepidatious, I will continue to have open dialogue with my children over this issue as I try to walk the line but I wanted to write this because I would really welcome the views of others.